The Book of Eli

To start 2010, we have a guest entry! From Ms. Trinh Luu of Queens, NY....by way of Sydney...by way of San Diego...by way of San Jose...by way of Illinois...by way of Vietnam. For her many travels and submission to the 'Armageddon' blog, she receives...well, not sure. Will have to get back to that one. Enjoy.



The movie opens with Denzel Washington, who plays Eli, killing a hairless cat and eating it for dinner. He spends his days walking across post-apocalyptic Earth, due west. Thirty years ago, during “the flash,” the sun left Earth desolate and dry, depleted of all its natural resources. The few people left are killing each other for things like shampoo and Chapstick. KFC wet naps also seem to be of high value, as are Zippo lighters. Those who have not already been blinded by the sun have to wear super hip aviator Ray Bans to protect their eyes. While walking across the country, Denzel seems to have a supernatural ability to kill people with his super sharp knife while he is resistant to bullets and chainsaws alike. He continues west, because it is his path, killing everyone who tries to kill him for his Chapstick and moist towelettes.

Mila Kunis plays Solara, aka the hot girl, because what's a good movie without a hot girl? Young and hot Mila was born after the end of the world; therefore, she is illiterate and has no idea what an iPod is. She starts following Denzel around because well, who wouldn’t? She hates her town and the people in it and wants to go west too, wherever that may be. The guy who runs the town where she lives is searching the world for a particular book, claiming that this book will bring civilization back to humanity. He sends his illiterate minions out to slaughter and ravage drifters in search of this book. What book could this possible be?

And this is when we find out that Denzel has the ONLY copy of the bible left on the entire planet!

Of course, Denzel will not give up his bible because God spoke to him 30 years ago, telling him this bible must get to a safe place somewhere in the west. After getting shot in the stomach and escaping cannibals, Denzel and Mila acquire a vehicle and drive to San Francisco.

In the end, the bible makes it to Alcatraz, where a guy who looks like Einstein is opening the very first printing press. And this is when we find out that... dun dun DUUUUUN... Eli has been blind this WHOLE TIME and GOD has been guiding him and protecting him from harm in order to get the very last copy of the bible to Einstein and his printer. Wow, if you aren't inspired by now...
BUT
BUT
the bad guy from before took the actual copy of the bible
and when he opened it he realized that... dun dun DUUUUN... it was in Braille! Oh, the irony.

The movie ends as Eli recites the bible word for word given that he has been reading it every night whilst travelling west for the last 30 years. Eli prays to God and asks Him to protect Mila as she continues on her journey, with her Ray Bans. I see sequel potential here.